The day that I miss my family the most is on Sunday. I miss them all the time, of course, but Sunday is always the hardest. Today I went to mass and as I sat there by myself, I kept thinking about how I always thought going to church would include my whole family like it did when I was a little girl. My grandparents, those lovely people holding Braxton in the picture, have been so close to my heart my whole life. I love them with such a strong love, the thought of one day losing them breaks my heart and makes me ache. Growing up, we always went to their church, Lakeview Church of Christ, no matter how far it was to drive. We would go to Sunday morning service, and then hop in the car to go to Mamaw's house! Mamaw and Papaw have lived in the same house since I was born and still live there today. When I was young, my cousins would join us there in the afternoons. My brother and I grew up with my cousins: Andy and Phillip, as if they were our brothers. I remember walking into the house after church and smelling the roast or brisket or whatever had been cooking while we were worshiping God and my stomach would start letting me know about it's approval immediately! Mamaw is a wonderful cook and I miss her food so much! (mmmmm cabbage!)
After we would all crowd around a table that really wasn't meant for that many people, Papaw would ask the blessing. He has said the same prayer for as long as I can remember and it is perfect. I could probably recite it if I tried. (ok I'm getting hungry... moving on)
After lunch, Mamaw, my mom, and I would thumb through the sales papers from the paper my cousins and I walked to the little gas station to buy, while Papaw watched either Bonanza, Gunsmoke, or the game. After we "window shopped" either us kids would play outside in our tree-houses (which had no "houses"), Rollerblade, or skate through the neighborhood. When we were played out, we would take a nap. To this day, I can take the best Sunday nap when I put on a western for background noise, close my eyes and picture I'm laying on Mamaw's couch all snuggled in the pillows I stole off the bed.
The worst part was having to wake up and put back on our Sunday clothes for the night service. It's hard to wake up and go be good for another hour. :)
As an adult, my Sundays have continuously changed. Catholics only have one service (I admit I like it that way) and then we're done for the day. Since my family obviously doesn't attend mass with us, they would all come over to our house, after the night service, for dinner and card games. Those nights aren't as sweet a memory as when I was a kid, but I still wish I had them. (warning: on the verge of tears,.. blink blink,.. deep breath,... ok :)
I wish with all my heart I could see them tonight but I know that is impossible. So I write down my memories instead hoping they know how much they all mean to me:
Mamaw and Papaw: you have been my favorite people and that will never change. I love you more than you will ever know.
Mom: I miss you so much. I wish I had you here to go do girl things,.. ok now I am crying :( and to look at houses with me. I wish we could go buy decorations together and have cooking nights
Jose: miss you too :)
Jeremy: you never even talk to me anymore. :( we used to be so close and I feel like I lost my brother. it sucks. fix it!
Andy: I miss you so much. You were like a brother to me and I hate that God took you before He took me.
Phillip: I know you won't read this but I love you and I worry about you. Don't get into a whole you can't get out of. You can always call your cousin if you need to talk. For all intents and purposes,.. I'm your sister.
Uncle Cary: I'll get that tripod thing in the mail soon,.. promise. I miss saying mean jokes to you ;)
Maybe it's the rainy weather that's got me all sappy, but I don't care.
May your Sundays always remind you of your loved ones and of your God who is always apart of your memories. God Bless You!
